Ask QC: Is My Straight Friend Really Straight?

Dear Ask QC,

So I recently came out and this friend was one of the first people to know and honestly I have liked him for a long time and my “gaydar” senses that maybe hes really gay or bi.

Other people have thought he was gay too. Here are some of the reasons that suggest to me he could be gay; 1) When I told him I was gay he said “I always knew you were. It makes me more comfortable now that I know.” 2) He says that he enjoys my company and spending time with me. 3) When in social situations he always make it a point that he’s straight. For example, if someone makes a joke or something.

Also how should I approach this? I don’t want to make our friendship awkward or anything the last thing I wanna do is lose him he is a great friend. So yeah what should I do? I know he has no problem with me being gay, but if hes not gay/bi it might be awkward for him to know that I like him. I don’t want to wreck our friendship, but I’m curious to see if we could ever be more than friends. I feel like he would be perfect for me. I think we would be good for each other and we would treat each other well.

The other thing is that he is almost 28 could he still be unsure of his orientation? I’m 20 but I have known since I was like 14 that I was gay, I just never experimented with it until I was 19.

Thanks,

ML.

Hi ML and thanks for writing in with your questions and concerns. How do you tell if your straight friend is gay or bisexual? Should he really be sure of his sexual orientation at 28 or not? So dear QC readers what advice would you give? Have you ever been in similar situation? How did approach your straight friend and ask him? Or didn’t you ask? If it happened to you in the past where you able to resolve it or is asking risking that friendship too much? If you can help ML in any way, or have been in a similar situation before then please leave your opinions, experiences, and advice in the QComments section.
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