Paragon Men: Martin Roberts

Confuscious said, “Big man no necessarily mean big dick.” But ancient Chinese wisdom is dead wrong in the case of Martin Roberts – a man with a barrel chest to match his veiny tubesteak. Lest we forget (perish the thought!) the rich ballsack clinging sweaty to his thigh. We’ve met philanthropists less generous!

He fantasizes about supermarket sex, which conjures all manner of unsanitary images: Martin lying seductively in the produce section (bring your own banana!), rolling around smothered in mayo on aisle five, we could go on but it’s getting awkward. Nevertheless, the sinful thoughts in your head have been asked to stay. Martin mesmerizes that way.