We found 379 results and a tag Queerisms
adjective: used to describe something of high-value, especially in regard to providing sexual pleasure. Can also be used as an exclamation in praise of anything bringing orgasmic pleasure.
ex: “Sexcellent!” Roderick sighed after receiving a most sexcellent blowjob from his tennis partner, Bootney Fonsworth. They then went and had some sexcellent sushi which was so unimaginably delicious that it gave them both boners.
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We’ve been disinterested in Ben Affleck’s films ever since we realized that Good Will Hunting wasn’t a porno… all that bromance gone to waste. But maybe the boyish actor’s making a porno cumback on the small screen. OMG Blog posted the jerk-off video above featuring a stud that looks an awful lot like Affleck.
If this really is Affleck’s porn debut, allow us to offer a small review: Although his shorn body’s pretty hot, Ben’s not gonna win any GayVN or Cybersocket Awards with this low-key performance. Ben’s affect is one of slight boredom and that’s still the case here, all the way to the quiet cum shot. However, his jaunty balls, scrotal stimulation, and thick cum shot make for a satisfying performance overall. Good job, Ben! B-minus.
But the responsible journalists at OMG Blog weren’t content to eat the cum off of their hands and call it a day. No sir, they put Sherlock Homo on the case to figure out if the celebrity dopplebanger is really Ben. Here’s what they found:
Looking at pictures A and B… the guy in the vid… had too round of a jawline to be Ben Affleck. Then I found Picture D, and saw that Ben’s jaw isn’t too square at all, so I couldn’t base the comparison on that.
Then, I tried looking at the eyebrows… but… eyebrows can be changed through plucking and the such, so that wasn’t reliable evidence.
Looking at Picture A, we can see that [the guy in the video’s] nose has a slight ball curve at the tip. Looking at Picture B, Ben Affleck’s nose is completely straight to the tip. The ultimate truth lies in the earlobes. Pictures B and D show Ben Affleck to have earlobes that are more rounded and hang lower than those of [the guy in the video].
I think this shows that we have a really convincing look-alike pretending to be Ben.
Zzzz… zzzz… OH! (ahem) Uh… yes, good work, Sherlock. Whether it’s Affleck or not, we’d love a front-row seat right under his ballsack so we can get an eyeful of his chest-blasting cum-shot—that’s entertainment! If only Affleck or his masturbating twin made more porn featurettes like this, we’d become his biggest stalker client fan.
Of course, this isn’t the first time Affleck’s gone gay. He once admitted to fucking male comedian talk shot host, Jimmie Kimmel, on national late-night television; Affleck even had a choir to back him up. But his anal assault was only revenge sex to get back at he and Kimmel’s respective lovers. Damn you, Matt Damon and Sarah Silverman!
For more naked male celebs, check out Cinemale and Male Celebrities.
noun: 1) a guy who only has sex with guys who look just like him.
2) someone who looks like you who you’d like to fuck
3) someone who resembles a person you know except that in this case, you’d fuck them
4) dopplebanging – having sex with someone who looks like you
5) dopplegangbang – having sex with lots of guys who look like each other (happens frequently with twinks, hipsters, A-list gays, and bears)
ex: Kurt’s nice, but he’s a total dopplebanger. His current fuck bud is like a 30-year-old version of himself. Of course, Kurt’s kinda vain. I bet if he could he’d get a bunch of guys who look like him so he could have a dopplegangbang.
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noun: in gay male relationships, a significant other who is a “bear.”
ex: I don’t want just any old husband, I want a husbear. For example, I wouldn’t marry that twink standing by the bar… but that butch cigar smoker in the open flannel standing next to him…
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adjective: a spin-off of the word “hardcore.” Used when referring to a porn movie based on a Shakespearean play.
ex: Wanna watch a bardcore porno movie? I’ve got Titus Androgynous, Romeo in Julian, Much Ado About Nuttin’, and A Midsummer Night’s Cream!
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You ever find a cute boy online and fall instantly in love? That’s the way we felt with Jesus Luz. Those smoldering olive-colored eyes, those curly raven locks, that body made of Brazilian carmel! Whew! We developed an instant crush with the hopes that we’d one day see his cock. And after months of anticipation, we finally got our prayers answered thanks to this outtake from his W magazine photo shoot. And, um… well…
Let’s put it this way: you ever find a cute boy online and instantly fall in love, until you see his cock? Now don’t misunderstand us… we’re not hating on Jesus’ love hammer. We don’t mind if a guy shaves himself baby smooth. We don’t mind that his cock’s digitized or the fact that it looks smallish. We love cocks of all sizes and he just got out of a cold pool (give the guy a break). Plus, his grandm…uh, girlfriend, Madonna, looks like a depressed pilgrim, so that’s gotta be give a guy some serious renob.
We’re just saying that months after imagining his fat, pendulous, uncut, veiny dick with a wild-bush and slobbery lines of precum, our first encounter with his cock has left us a little… wanting. That’s not a bad thing. Sometimes an unsatisfying first taste just makes your audience all the hungrier for satisfaction and let us tell you, Jesus, we’re still hungry!
In the meanwhile, we’ll have to nibble on these fishes and loaves to tide us over—thank goodness there always seems to be of them more left. If you;re hungry for more check out Cinemale and Male Celebrities.
Via Allie is Wired.
noun: Boner spelled backwards. Has two meanings:
1) A moron or a tool, especially one who thinks with his dick.
2) A flaccid penis, especially one that has gone limp from revulsion.
ex: When I first spoke to Steve, I was totally turned on by how cool he was. Then he started acting like a renob, doing body shots with random skanks at the bar. Then my hard-on turned into a hard-off; my boner became a renob, so to speak.
Submit your own Queerism HERE!
We know some of you don’t like female breasts, but we had to share this with you. You know how some people say, “Leave well enough alone?” Here’s a guy who should have taken that advice. He’s already kinda cute in a jock douchebag kinda way, but those new boobs just aren’t him.
Don’t turn away. Look into his MOOBS! And stay until at least the 0:54 mark, because that’s when the dancing begins and the real horror starts. Let this be a lesson to us all: boob jobs work best on women.
Cody Cummings’ haters always cite his avoidance of gay sex acts such as “taking one in the butt.” However, they may be happy to know that in his latest bisexual scene with Coco Velvett and Parker London, Cody Cumming loses his virganalty to (get this) a lollipop.
Now, before you haters start making fun of Cody for taking it up the butt from a child’s snack consider this: 1) We’ve bottomed for guys whose penises were no bigger than that Dum-Dum. 2) Cody’s no bottoming pro, so small and inanimate is a good first step. 3) Sex with a lollipop promises to be sweet purely by virtue of being 100% sugar. 4) How many times have you had snack food in your ass? What?! Never? So does that mean that Cody’s more sexually adventurous than you?!! Hmmm….
OK, so it might not be the red-hot, anal mansex Cody’s haters need to feel he’s not a homophobe, but it’s a start. And for the record, Cody has admittedly tried sucking Tommy D’s dick before. He even did it once in a bisexual scene with Tommy D. Of course, he went by Tyler at the time, but still…
So is finally taking something in the butt and sucking dick on camera enough to quiet Cody’s detractors? We doubt it.
noun: The act of one “bro” giving another “bro” oral sex in a strictly str8 friends sort of way.
ex: Hey dude, wanna hang out tonight? Might be a brojob in it for you! Sexcellent!
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noun: Acronym for an obviously gay trait. Obvously gay trait is a quality often associated with a homosexual that outs them.
ex: I’m really hairy, play rugby, and work in corporate finance, but my love of 1970’s musicals is my OGT. I usually sound all butch but whenever anyone brings up Pippin, Godspell, or Best Little Whorehouse in Texas, I queen right out!
Thanks to Derrick for this Queerism. Submit your own Queerism HERE!
noun: An ornamental house decoration of an overtly sexual nature. Can also refer to a sexual tattoo or a porn-related Christmas ornament (ex: Santa Balls).
ex: While Joseph’s Tom of Finland drawing is definitely an example of pornamentation, that dildo lying in the corner is no pornament… that’s just bad housekeeping!
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adjective: Very very ridiculous.
ex: Oh my God! Look at what he’s wearing? White suede cowboy boots with tassels? That’s totally ricockulous!
Submit your own Queerism HERE!
You post, we praise. It’s a new week, but the same game. And this week’s collection of QComments include a guy who feels mighty guilty jerking off to an ex-convict, someone who’s tired of anti-bareback sanctimony, and one guys who says that twincest’s just the last stop on a slippery slope towards necrophilia. What the heck is everyone talking about? Read on and see…
We’ll start with what was easily our hottest post this last week, The Peters Twins Fucking Bareback for Bel Ami. The post had its share of QCommenters who absolutely creamed for the boys and their twin taboo lovemaking, but its detractors felt just as strongly against it. Take Troy for example. He’s against incest, but mainly because it reminds him of heterosexual incest (and thus, two-headed babies):
Whatever. This is gross. Spare me the consenting adults jazz. IMO, it’s no less demented than a brother and sister fucking around. I don’t care if they can’t reproduce. Would people be so quick to shrug it off if a brother and sister rationalized their affair by stating that they use condoms…or that if she becomes pregnant, she’d just abort? I don’t think so. With 6 billion people in the world, there is no reason people should be shacking up with family members.
We hate to admit it, but if we were straight, we’re pretty sure that we’d find sex between a hot twin brother and sister pair just as hot (and not just in anticipation of their ungodly, inbred offspring or its eminent abortion). Sex is sex. What if Bel Ami had posted the same scene without the information that they were brothers? Hell, some of their Eastern European models look kind of alike anyway. Would Troy have found it as “gross”? It’s anyone’s guess.
Similarly, J. Clarence is alarmed at how many people seem to like “twincest”, but nonetheless, he thinks Bel Ami hasn’t gone quite far enough in breaking taboos. In fact, he’d like you to call him when it goes much, much further:
Blkraunch, You find the fact that they are getting into bareback as a sign that sales might be slow!? What about the incest. Wouldn’t the fact that they have had to play this up for so long, and in fact pitched it as “the ultimate taboo” be a leading candidate as to whether or not sales are down. It isn’t the deepest sign of brotherly love. Its incest. Nothing less, nothing more. I don’t know what’s more alarming, the fact that they were willing to do it (though if you were strapped for money you could rationalize anything) or the fact that there is clearly an audience willing to buy into “twincest”. I suppose Josman comics were not enough. Plus, I hardly would consider this the ultimate taboo. When one of them is dead and Bel Ami pays the other the screw the corpse and a goat at the same time call me and we can discuss whether or not thats the ultimate taboo. I could just imagine the talking-points conservatives would conjure up if they got wind of this.
We’d pretty sure that Bel Ami’s not going to try and break into the gay-necro-bestiality market, but if they do, we’ll definitely give you a call, J. Clarence. We’d also like to think that if “talking-points conservatives” decided to go on a witch hunt for morally reprehensible material, that they’d visit QCX’s rosebud section—yes, that’s an advertisement (IF YOU DARE!!!).
Talking about reprehensible sexual activity, Ginger feels somewhat conflicted about jerking off to Mike Tyson. Yes, the man’s an ex-convict, ear-munching maniac who’s house has fallen into disrepair, but Ginger can’t help but get turned on:
Yes, I know he’s a scumbag. Not very goodlooking either. But he has a gorgeous body! Would luv to see better nudes of him. He makes my dick throb! I’ve jacked off quite a bit to his photo and I must say I’ve never came so hard or so much in my life. Even made a video doing it.
This reminds us of a horrible story, if you’ve got a second. One of Team Orange jerked off to a unmarked videotape which feature a troll-ugly top sodomizing a beautiful jock bottom with a frighteningly huge dildo. In their co-mingled disgust and titillation, they came uncontrollably, loathing themselves as each hot spurt of jism covered their clawed hand. They were living with their folks at the time, cleaned up, and tucked the videotape at the back of the video cabinet so that he could watch it later.
That guy ended up leaving the country, and his mother inserted the tape for some children who stopped by, thinking it might be some old Saturday morning cartoons that her kids taped in the 80’s. Haha—WRONG. When one of the kids started saying, “That man is hurting that other man,” his mother dashed over to the TV ejected the tape and called him international long distance to bitch him out. We find that hilarious, though some of you will undoubtedly disagree. But seeing as we’ve already mentioned twincest, necrophilia, anal rosebuds, bestiality, and cannibalism, is accidentally exposing young children to hardcore gay pornography really that shocking? If so, you should start watching the evening news…
More witticisms and fuckery await, after the jump!
Continue with “Top 10 QComments”
noun: A gay guy with lots of straight female friends. His intimate, non-sexual relationship with the women makes him a gayte-keeper with access to them and all their secrets (crushes, kiss-and-tell stories, etc.).
Clueless straight men will see the gayte-keeper as a cock-blocker while savvier straight guys will befriend the gayte-keeper to show his sexual self-security, an interest in conversation, and to eventually get the goods on his targets in the process.
ex: All these straight boys wanna get with Samantha and Leslie, but as their gayte-keeper, I know something those guys don’t—Sam and Les aren’t dating anyone right now because they’re both having severe herpes outbreaks. Sad, yes… but I still kiss both of them on the mouth.
Thanks to CheeseSlinger for this Queerism! Submit your own Queerism HERE!
noun: A lesbian mother, a dyke raising kids.
ex: You wanna buy our kid a leather burning kit? Don’t be such a lezmo.
ex: I was raised by two lezmos—no wonder I turned out straight.
Thanks to CheeseSlinger for this Queerism! Submit your own Queerism HERE!